UFO Phil Wants to Build a Pyramid on Pike's Peak

I have to admit, Photoshop makes this idea seem almost cool.

'UFO Phil' is a comedian and writer of terrible songs about UFOs. He's been implanted with a "telepathy chip" that allows him to communicate with "Zaxon" and "Rogness", a couple of aliens from somewhere or other. Lately he's been eating out on an unlikely plan: building a replica of the Great Pyramid of Giza on top of Pike's Peak in Colorado (14,112'/4,302m). As AOL News reports, The pyramid will function as an UFO docking station. Denver's KMGH TV 7 is there with hard-hitting coverage:



Besides serving as landing stations, the pyramid will also generate free energy:

Hill alleges that the ancient Egyptian pyramids -- designed by extraterrestrials, of course -- were massive stone power stations. Through his ongoing otherworldly contacts, he's been singled out and gifted with secret blueprints and schematics. These plans, of alien design, of course, reveal how the pyramids can generate enough hydrogen gas to power everything on Earth.

Apparently one alien ship brings sand, and the other brings hydrochloric acid, and they mix it in the pyramid, and it makes hydrogen, then the spaceships take it "all over the galaxy". Phil explains it to a reporter at the Colorado Springs Gazette (free energy technique at 1:52):



Dude is pretty annoying, but has some funny jokes. Building the pyramid will create jobs, since it takes so many men to lug the stones up to the top of the peak. "I can't pay them much, but I understand that was how it was done originally anyway." Priceless.

The gift shop and restaurant will be moved to a deck on the side of the pyramid.

Phil obviously came up with this pyramid thing as a media stunt to sell some songs on iTunes and turn himself into a meme. But hey, he seems to have managed it all right. In case you're not sick of this dweeb yet, he's got a facebook page, too.

Sweet Laocoön Tattoo: Elastic Medium for an Elastic Myth

This fresh ink is courtesy of my friend Ceyhun, from Istanbul. It's the Laocoön group, a late Hellenistic statue now in the Vatican Museum. Laocoön has a minor role in the Epic Cycle as the guy who warns everyone that the Trojan horse is a trick!

Equo ne credite, Teucri, timeo Danaos et dona ferentes
"Don't trust the horse, Trojans - I fear the Greeks, even when they bring gifts" (Aeneid II.49)

For his trouble, Athena sends a giant snake to devour him and his sons. (Or, just maybe, it was actually his punishment for having sex with his wife in a temple.)



Attributed to Agesander, Athenodorus, and Polydorus of Rhodes, the statue was found in 1506 in the remains of Nero's Domus Aurea in Rome. The thing was ridiculously influential on Michelangelo and other Renaissance artists, then on Classicists like Winckelmann and Lessing. Napoleon jacked it in 1799 and parked it in the Louvre until his fall from power.

The sculptures in the group were rearranged in antiquity, then again after their rediscovery. Blake reinterpreted it as a polemic against Classical Art. The whole thing was rebuilt in 1906 after the discovery of missing fragments. This parade of transformations creates a conceptual stratigraphy that eclipses whatever the sculptors meant for it back in the day - so moving the image to the elastic medium of skin is a fitting tribute to its stretchy, slippery history.